Anxiety: my experience

We're so accustomed to hearing about anxiety, a word used to describe a broad range of symptoms that people go through for different reasons at different times of their lives, that it doesn't seem to do justice to the experiences we have as cancer survivors. My understanding of this has grown through talking to members of Mission Remission community in the anxiety workshops. It was good to hear that others shared my experience.

Most of us can recall spells of spiralling thoughts about the future, the shock of our worlds being turned upside down, the worry for our families, the fear of upcoming treatment, the ongoing disquiet in our minds that it could all happen again, the hyper-vigilance around scans and anniversaries. These types of thought processes and the bodily indicators of fight flight or freeze are commonly considered to be symptoms of anxiety, but I have found myself preferring to normalise these experiences for cancer survivors so that the impact of what has happened isn't minimised. We have genuine fears, and the diagnosis and treatments can be traumatic.

There are plenty of techniques for dealing with these symptoms and alongside this I have found it important to remind myself that some of the "anxiety" I am experiencing is a normal human response to going through the life changing, shocking and brutal experience of cancer diagnosis and treatment. I remind myself to be kinder to myself, to expect less of myself some days, to be gentler and to take good care of myself. Fears will likely come and go for some time so learning to manage them is part of my ongoing recovery. 

Glenda runs our Anxiety Workshops at Mission Remission. She lives on the northeast coast with her partner, her daughter and their cat. She has been a psychotherapist for 10 years after leaving a corporate job to retrain in a career which she felt had more meaning. Activities in her leisure time include attending football matches or watching them on tv with family or friends, and going to gigs and theatre shows. She had treatment for breast cancer in 2021 and since then has prioritised her self-care by going to the gym and having regular massages. Glenda is three years cancer free and is counting down to the magical 5-year marker.