Still in shock

Hi Sue,

I had exactly the same experience though things have gotten better. Showers even exhausted me! The positive news is that I've felt my fatigue reducing every day and so hope you'll find this too! You're still very much in the early days, so don't put too much pressure on yourself.

I tried to focus on things I enjoy and not focus on what I feel I *should* be doing... else you just feel so guilty!

Best wishes to you!! x

Hi, I am 3mths post treatment for breast cancer(chemo, surgery and radiotherapy) and struggling with fatigue and insomnia! Now have lymphoedema and still feeling lost. Every one says how well I look, especially as my hair is returning,  I do feel not better(I wonder if I ever will?) but ‘less ill’. One thing I have learnt from reading posts on places like this amazing site I only joined last week is that we push ourselves too much and need to take each day as it comes. Being more kind to myself will be my mantra today. 

I totally agree with you l had breast cancer 12 months ago and apart from severe radiation burns l sailed through it but about 9 months later l came down with a bang.crying all of the time no sleep just thoroughly miserable and hated my self.So l took a step back and decided to take thinks at a much slower pace and think about me for a change. Treat yourself to a new hairdo or some new clothes. Good luck you will get there.

Thank you for your lovely replies, which brought a tear to my eye (not the usual feeling sorry for myself tear either). The advice for the new haircut and clothes brought back the reasons why i have already done that. One day i went into the shower and and there was a funny smell. I unscrewed the water outlet and found it was blocked with my hair. I made an appointment and had a really short haircut, no 4 at the back. Wow, it was great and perfect for the hot weather we have been experiencing. As to the clothes, i couldn't eat a thing in hospital, even the smell of the food being brought into the corridor for dishing up, made me gag. It took ages to regain my appetite, hence the fast weight loss and need for new clothes. I also have been told how well i look but don't feel it. My neighbour (male) said "Hi Sue, I can see you've lost weight, there's not so much fat round your chin". Cheers Martin Ha ha

Hi Sue,

People can be so unconsciously insensitive - no necessarily with bad intention - reminds me of a quote that was making its way around social media recently 'everyone you meet is fighting a battle you nothing about -think about what you say and  always be kind'.  I have just submitted a blog that should be up soon about things people closest to us say that can often make us feel lonelier. Having cancer is such a personal experience and for me, the most important thing is just having someone there to support and listen - rather than trying to come up with rescue remedies. Hope you feel better soon xx

Unfortunately not everyone has someone to talk to.My husband was absolutely brilliant while l was going through treatment but now he thinks l am paranoid every time l find a new pain or a spot. He doesn't seem to get what it is like when you have had cancer. That is why these sort of sites are so good because you realise you are not alone.

Hi Linda. I don’t think anyone can ever know what it’s like to experience having cancer unless they’ve been on a similar journey. It can be disheartening when those closest to us think we’re being paranoid. Unfortunately, we have to become our own support whether that’s accessing talking therapies, reading self help books, joining forums like this, group therapy or anything else that can help on the road to recovery. At least these are the things I’ve done. But sometimes, we have to sit with the discomfort of our feelings which can be hard. 

Hi, I was diagnosed with rectal cancer almost 5 years ago - 30th August 2013. The next year was taken up with radiotherapy, surgeries and chemotherapy. I too felt that I had an easy ride - my Mum was being treated for lung cancer at the same time and compared to her I really didn't have many issues.  I should add that I'm also type 1 diabetic and this did add to the deep joy of surgery and chemo - I already and neuropathy and chemo exacerbated it.  It was after my final surgery in April 2015 to reverse my stoma that my fatigue and brain fog, the chronic pain and exhaustion kicked in.  I'd say, be kind to yourself, your body has taken one hell of a battering, both physically and psychologically, rest if you need to - I think we are conditioned to think sleeping in the middle of the day is lazy - but it isn't - it is our body healing. 
I'm still experiencing fatigue and brain fog - and my poor stomach and bowels will never go back to normal - I'm going to be up and down all night tonight, I can already tell..But it is just a new normal, and as upsetting as it may feel, I just tell myself it's better than the alternative - and I am so fortunate to have had a wonderful team who've got me this far.

Hope you start feeling better soon - and you will xx

Hi Sue. Things do get better, you will feel less tired, but I, like you, thought I was Superwoman. What you imagine in your head never matches the reality! You think you can walk half a mile to the shop, but you really can only go 200 yards before you need a break! I am now 10 months post Stem cell transplant and each month I get stronger- very slowly! I really like Duranie 85's comment about 'new' normal. I don't believe that I will ever return to where I was in terms of fitness levels, but that's ok considering what I've been through. Take each day as it comes, don't push too hard and be kind to yourself. Stay well x

Hi Everyone

Had 1st check up after op yesterday and healing nicely but the pain in my pelvis now requires a scan. Trying not to stress so going to Blue Cross Fete today in Bromsgrove. Good weather, toilets and plenty of seating will make a nice afternoon out. How cancer changes our priorities for planning an outing!

Sue C

Results of scan have revealed "something" so now waiting for MRI. I was at home when i took the phone call and it felt like a punch in the stomach. In fact, i had to go and lie down, i felt quite wobbly. Once i had calmed down, i talked it over with my family and got used to the idea i was back on the cancer merry go round. Well, i hadn't actually got off, it had just slowed down a bit. Thank goodness we have the wonderful NHS and brilliant cancer specialists

Sue C

Dear Sue, I hope you won’t have too long to wait for results. That is the hardest part. The uncertainty. The waiting. I think of my cancer journey as being on the Big Dipper . Thank goodness for the NHS, the amazing cancer specialists and their teams.